The One
The way I figure it, everybody has that one person, that fatal flaw that we cannot escape. It's the first cut that Cat Steven's sings about (note for those who thought it, The First Cut is the Deepest, is not a Sheryl Crow song, actually Rod Stewart does a pretty good cover too). That person you can't manage to rid yourself of despite all the things you know are wrong.
Even in the final vestige of knowing that things cannot mend themselves in your head or in your heart, you deeply want the hardest choices to be easy. And so you tolerate them as each word kills you more and each day is a trial of self control not to spill over the line.
I'm 12 steps from where I need to be. How is it I find myself here, at the bottom of an empty bottle with a cigarette butt rattling in the last vapors of blended whiskey? How is it that the quiet of the night plays the loudest voices in my head.
And yet as I try to find solace in the distractions life affords, the memories sink back in and make the silence all the more maddening.
I can tell you all about eminent domain. I can explain the security risks of a VoIP deployment, I can recall from memory, the lyrics of Robert Cray, Alana Davis and Brother Love, yet I can't dictate the lyrics that can rise my soul out of the doldrums and into the deep ocean currents.
The loudest screams are the ones that tear into your mind.
Even in the final vestige of knowing that things cannot mend themselves in your head or in your heart, you deeply want the hardest choices to be easy. And so you tolerate them as each word kills you more and each day is a trial of self control not to spill over the line.
I'm 12 steps from where I need to be. How is it I find myself here, at the bottom of an empty bottle with a cigarette butt rattling in the last vapors of blended whiskey? How is it that the quiet of the night plays the loudest voices in my head.
And yet as I try to find solace in the distractions life affords, the memories sink back in and make the silence all the more maddening.
I can tell you all about eminent domain. I can explain the security risks of a VoIP deployment, I can recall from memory, the lyrics of Robert Cray, Alana Davis and Brother Love, yet I can't dictate the lyrics that can rise my soul out of the doldrums and into the deep ocean currents.
The loudest screams are the ones that tear into your mind.
posted by rpalmeira | 11:14 PM
2 Comments:
Have I ever told you how much I admire you? Your mind? The way you think and the lucidity with which you write? I find that most of what you say resonates so deeply that it shocks me to my core...despite the fact that I believe I've moved on and am ready to go on with the rest of my life, there are times, in the still and darkness of the night, that the voices in my head are loudest. Do you think it's coincidence?
it's astounding the lucidity a little (relatively speaking) Irish whiskey can provide.
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