The Mall

I fucking hate the mall. I don't like crowds, I don't like overpaying for shit, I don't like standing in line behind a bunch of fucking people so lost they couldn't fine their way out of luck, let alone out of the fucking Banana Republic. So as I found myself stuck in the Mall today paying $50 for half a subway sandwich and $5 for a little plastic cup filled with mediocre chocolate chip cookies I was pissed off as normal. Now of course my ex, who happened to be the reason I was stuck at the fucking mall (long story, not nearly enough energy or alcohol to go into it) turns to me and says "oh lighten up, I realize you don't like malls but you it doesn't happen that often." You know what bitch, I don't get shot that often either and the fact that it doesn't happen that often doesn't make it okay when I do. The next time some puts a .45 slug in my shoulder, I'm not going to be all fucking cheery and say "ah well, it doesn't happen that often." I'm going to go to the fucking hospital and have to shoot me full of painkillers before they pull a hollowpoint out of my rotator cuff. And in all honesty, from this afternoon, I think I'd rather do that than stand in line behind another douchebag at The GAP.