Sometimes you just miss out on the best chance to call someone a douchebag to their face when they fucking deserve it

So a friend of mine living in the Midwest had an interesting experience at a restaurant this past week. And as much as I should be writing about other stuff (or fucking sleeping), this experience (and three cups of coffee and a cigarette) got me wondering how I would have reacted to the situation. Probably would have gone something like this.....

"Madam, we have hear you out with excessive patience and have tolerated your abusive behavior, but now it's time for you to leave. these young people are students, she is their teacher. It's one of the noblest professions in the world and highly deserving of your respect. And I'd be willing to be far more valuable than whatever slurpee machine you're running.

I've worked with the military and to dispense such prejudice and hatred denigrates the military as much as it denigrates these fine young men who haven't done anything to you except exude outstanding patience at your harassment and stupidity. If you believe that we have in some way offended you then I apologize, it wasn't intentional so be the better person and walk away.

Your misdirected attacks are an injustice to the rights, freedoms and privileges this country provides and those who protect it, and it's time for you to leave. So,

I'm going to give you to the count of two, because the crap you're spewing now doesn't deserve three. At that point I will have a manager remove you, and if he doesn't do so, I'll do it myself.

one....

two..."

then shit pretty much breaks out into chaos. Because bullshit shouldn't be tolerated. Especially not bullshit from stupid people. Probably why I don't keep very good friends for very long.