Letter to Renell 6 Nov 2005
I haven't sent this yet, but will soon.
I am sorry if I have caused you pain. It was not my intent or in any way my desire. I am sorry if I caused you to run away. I am sorry for loving you as it has caused us both difficulties.
What bothers me is being left and the manner in which it was done. You knew I had surgery and had no qualms about leaving me without any help of the kind that I have offer you many times over. In my time of need you deserted me, and that hurts a great deal. I couldn’t even count on you to return the keys that you took from me. All this tells me is that you are willing to kick me when I’m down. I tried and I guess it wasn’t enough for you. I gave everything I had to give and received in return only sadness and pain. I asked you for closure and you can’t even respond to me. All this tells me is that you are selfish and unwilling to help me move on. You have already left, what more do you gain by making me suffer longer? Do you have that much hate for me that you need to keep me spinning? I’ll get there on my own without your help, it’s just a longer process.
We still have things to resolve. I have some of the things you have forgotten when you cleared out of my apartment. We still have much of the issues of child support and visitation to agree to. Before any of that though, I would finally like to get done the paternity test that was promised to me nearly five years ago. I don’t think it’s fair to Ryen to turn him over to your parents. Ryen needs his mom and dad. He needs to know that mom and dad love him. Mom and dad don’t have to love each other. At this point I can only assume that they don’t. But he shouldn’t know mom as the person who comes when it’s convenient for her and he shouldn’t know dad as the person who comes for a day and leaves in the afternoon. He deserves more.
I sincerely wish you would at least talk to me, and I don’t know why you find it so difficult. You left me, a number of times in fact. I was always pining over you. What does it hurt you to help resolve the end of us and Ryen’s future? It saddens me that you can’t even respond.
Reid
I am sorry if I have caused you pain. It was not my intent or in any way my desire. I am sorry if I caused you to run away. I am sorry for loving you as it has caused us both difficulties.
What bothers me is being left and the manner in which it was done. You knew I had surgery and had no qualms about leaving me without any help of the kind that I have offer you many times over. In my time of need you deserted me, and that hurts a great deal. I couldn’t even count on you to return the keys that you took from me. All this tells me is that you are willing to kick me when I’m down. I tried and I guess it wasn’t enough for you. I gave everything I had to give and received in return only sadness and pain. I asked you for closure and you can’t even respond to me. All this tells me is that you are selfish and unwilling to help me move on. You have already left, what more do you gain by making me suffer longer? Do you have that much hate for me that you need to keep me spinning? I’ll get there on my own without your help, it’s just a longer process.
We still have things to resolve. I have some of the things you have forgotten when you cleared out of my apartment. We still have much of the issues of child support and visitation to agree to. Before any of that though, I would finally like to get done the paternity test that was promised to me nearly five years ago. I don’t think it’s fair to Ryen to turn him over to your parents. Ryen needs his mom and dad. He needs to know that mom and dad love him. Mom and dad don’t have to love each other. At this point I can only assume that they don’t. But he shouldn’t know mom as the person who comes when it’s convenient for her and he shouldn’t know dad as the person who comes for a day and leaves in the afternoon. He deserves more.
I sincerely wish you would at least talk to me, and I don’t know why you find it so difficult. You left me, a number of times in fact. I was always pining over you. What does it hurt you to help resolve the end of us and Ryen’s future? It saddens me that you can’t even respond.
Reid
posted by rpalmeira | 5:45 PM
1 Comments:
I love you. I hope you know that. You are one of my very best friends and I need you to know that I would lay down my life for you - even if you insisted otherwise. Your hurt and your pain are true testaments to the human heart and its strength. In talking to you the other morning, I realized that our friendship has carried me through my darkest hours. I hope that you'll lean on me more. It's not often that I can be a pillar for someone, but I would do anything to ease you and take the pain from each exhaled breath. I love you, Reid, and hope you fare well. Call me if ever you are in need - I'll always be here.
Maka
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