My Breakdown

I know what I should do and I fear what I would do. What I should do is demand a paternity test for our son, since she was cheating on me around the time she got pregnant, and then do everything else through lawyers. What I deeply want to do is ask her to come back to me. To ask her to forget everything and start over, and I know that's stupid. What I really need is closure and it's so hard to get at this point, it's just so hard to get that closure that i don't know what to do and I feel like I'm spinning.

She was supposed to come drop off my keys today, well for the past few days, but never did. Now she says we can talk. I don't know what to day, what to talk about. what to feel or think or do. I'm just upside down.