Resolutions

I resolve this year to stop smoking when I get really stressed. In the past two years I’ve smoked a total of maybe two packs. But most of them have been in the past two months because I picked up Renell’s bad habits when I get really stressed. It’s not so bad that I need to smoke when I get stressed, just that it, like alcohol, temporarily relieves some of the stress. It’s a stupid habit, it’s literally burning money and it’s a resolution I can keep so what the hell, why not?

I resolve to stop feeling sorry for myself. I’m not even sure if that’s the right way to word it. I don’t so much feel sorry for myself as feel like I’d be happier if I knew that Renell was miserable, or at least as depressed as I feel. I know that seems petty but at this point I’d feel better if she felt like shit too. Since I don’t see that happening soon it doesn’t do much good for me to get pissy over things I can’t change or resolve. So sometime in the near future I’m going to have to let go. Easier said than done I suppose

I resolve to stop drinking tequila. Between the triple shot I had at midnight and the beer afterwards, holy shit, man I need to stop drinking. I mean I should stop drinking in general, but we’ll start with tequila because I felt that quite a bit more than anything else and it wasn’t fun. Triple shot, blah blah blah, yeah, Happy New Year, but damn I need to go back to my normal mode of occasionally having a glass of wine, or Guinness with dinner, rather than the mode I find myself in currently which is closer to having a shot for breakfast.