Insomnia

I'm back to not sleeping again. After yesterday, I still haven't been able to get rid of the twich in my left hand. It makes tying a little slower, but the real issue is the insomnia. I can't get sleep. When I do I start to dream and all I've been dreaming about lately is the most painful parts of the relationship with Renell. I dream about the times she admitting to cheating on me. I dream about the times I spent going nuts because she left me only to come back only to leave again. When I sleep I dream and when I dream I hurt and it wakes me up with a jolt that's so painful, it's almost physical. I haven't been able to sleep for more than a 15 minutes at a time. So far the only thing keeping my mind off of this when I'm awake are podcasts. I've listened to almost all of EarthCore in the past 24 hours. I've been trying to keep busy and distracted. It doesn't help as much as I had hoped. I need to get sleep. The worst part about it is that I know she's not losing any sleep. When Renell wants to not give a shit about someone or something she does a good job of that, and right now she doesn't give even half a shit about what we had or the pain it has caused.