The Strength To Weather Those Things I Cannot Change

I used to believe in not stressing about the things I have no control over. I still do on some level. Yet it is those things I cannot change which currently cause the most stress, grief and pain. Odd how those things work out. It is those things I could not change that have led me to this point in the first place. It is those things I chose not to change that have caused me the most hardship.

Somewhere along the way we learn balance in all things. I try to be a generally relaxed person. I'll make sure things that need to get done get done, I'll make sure bills that need to get paid get paid, but I want to relax. Today though, I find myself having to force myself to breathe, having to force back the lump in my throat, having to divert my attention from the sense of loss. It's amazing the way things work out. Yet in the last stage of grief is acceptance and hope for the future. This is not the end and hope still exists. It is my goal now to fertilize that hope and help it grow. So perhaps it's time for a new prayer. Lord give me the strength to weather the forces that I cannot change. Help me stand against the tides of life that I cannot control. Give me the power to accept that I have none and the sense to realize that this is okay. Of course, whether or not the prayer works is also something I have no control over. Hell, I don't really even believe in God in the sense of organized religion, so go figure.