And so the announcement

At work today I had a conversation that led down the eventual path about the other job and my status at PLNI. Not much I'm sure I want to discuss or even know what to say at this point other than my continued sense of burning out in the current role I play.

It apparently caught some attention though, something I'll have to consider I suppose going forward....and the pondering continues.

An odd thought

An odd thought struck me last night. Well tonight I suppose except that I'm awake already and it's still night. anyway, thought was this: people will react differently to even basic questions when they consider themselves to be in a relationship as opposed to when they don't.

For example, I was talking to an ex and she's got this piece of shit car. bought used, the thing's on it's last legs. she's also got a piece of shit boyfriend. whatever not my problem. So I ask her "why in the hell would you spend money to buy a car like this?"

Now a person who considers themselves to be an individual will answer with "I" but a person who considers themselves to be in a relationship will answer with "we"

oddities of life I suppose.

suicide by tiny, tiny increments

I can never wach the movie High Fiedlity without feeling enough self pity to get drunk. As I am while I write this. I don't understand why, but it makes me feel bad enough about my own life and indecisions that it makes me drink.

Tonight the drink of choice is whiskey, Irish whiskey to be more specific but it doesn't matter. Of course my life is different, the happy ending I still haven't seen yet and I certainly do go through the "what does it all mean" phase in thirty minutes of cut scenes and montages.

Maybe I'm just too tired....maybe I'm just too indecisive to think to the future instead of thinking to the past.

sleep

This marks the second night I haven't slept. I did a class yesterday (wed.) and I shoudl be tired, but I'm just not sleeping. No real reason why I suppose.