work, stress, weekends = bad habits

Work's been stressful lately. I little less so in the past week and things have stablized somewhat and the initial freak-out has been a little abated after the shock wore off. But still stressful, especially for me as the major product launch deadline comes up soon.

It's a lot of testing, a lot of co-ordination and a lot of documentation on top of the all the meetings. whoever invented the meeting should be fucking shot.

I spent most of the weekend reading up on Adtran configuration and lying around the apartment staying up far too late. I picked up smoking which is a bad habit that I know I have when i get very stressed. I have this bad habit of chemically de-stressing. Lately, because I've been getting home late, it's been a couple of glasses of wine and one of the cigars I got. I think I'm starting to build something of a tolderance though, for both of those, because neither seems to have as much of an effect on me as it did a week ago. Or maybe I'm just more stressed? I don't know. But it was (is) a three day weekend so I have today (monday) to relax as well. Still, I plan on going in to work late tonight or early tomorrow morning to get things finalized. The problems is that I can't really do much until the East Coast comes back to work late this evening. So it's a lot of waiting.

As with everything else in my life, it's waiting. Waiting for what? I don't know. I've been watching a lot (relatively) of television this weekend. It made me realize the whole thing with Renell was sort of like the Ross/Rachel thing on Friends...except I don't have any. And my season got cancelled a long time ago but I was just too stupid to know it. The lack of contact is nice on the stress level, but it does admittedly get lonely. Oh well, that's what books and music are for right? and wine.

I did get to see a few friends from high school this past saturday. George and Genelle both appear to be doing well. Haven't seen George in probably....six years. Fuck I'm getting old. We had a nice dinner, got to catch up a bit. It was a good reconnect.

Too many things going on to be happy, but I am satisfied for now.

Is there no such thing as self control anymore?

Okay, fine, I know it's fiction. I was watching the season finale of Grey's Anatomy this evening as I went through the crap in my bag and tried to clear off my desk. Granted, I know it's fiction, and yes, it has some decent music, but honesly now, is there no such thing as self control? And where in the fuck to all these doctor's find that much time to sleep around, even if it is with each other. It's like watching a slightly less cheesy soap opera with much better music. So far, that's about its only saving grace: good music. These people have no self control, no sense of decency towards each other and not loyalty beyond what? the little triangle of people they're sexually involved with? What am I not getting that makes this show popular? Honestly now, what am I not getting? This is worse than listening to people go on and on about second life.

this is just getting stupid

Seriously now, the only time I'm posting things on here anymore is when I have severe insomnia. Don't get me wrong, I find it relaxing and a good way to work out things in my head, but this is a disturbing trend.

Mother's day coming up. As far as Ryen's mom is concerned, I really have no idea or concept of what the hell to do. It's disturbing to me on so many levels. Her cousin is getting married, which emans the whole family is flying over to Hilo next weekend for the wedding. Rick and his daughter are going with them. Supposedly they've already had some conversations about marriage. That disturbs me to some extent, I think I'm just more pissed off than really bothered. You don't go from seven years to being cool with that kind of shit in seven months.

But at least it's not bugging me much anymore. It still seems fairly sickening, but mostly I'm just annoyed.

In the mean time work and writing's been keeping me busy. some of the stuff on the other blog of random thoughts has been getting a pretty decent audience and may get pusblished in book for which I find highly amusing. Work's been good, even though it is somewhat stressful with the product launches coming.

Oh, and hey, so I'm on some crazy ass mailing list. They sent a pack of gum, seriously, chewing gum to my old home in Kona. Who is "they"? Beats the fuck out of me. But I'm on someone's list, and they didn't even spell the name correctly. Crazy. When was the last time you got gum in the mail?